


And then there were 11

by jarofactonbell



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, I'm Sorry, M/M, Shades, Texting, hahahaha what am i even writing, it's pure crack, jisung and minhyun are trying their best, ongniel is love ongniel is life, savage guanlin and woojin, save jihoon, so much shade it's an entire forest, the jokes are becoming m rated, woojin the corrupter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2018-12-20 13:18:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11921733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarofactonbell/pseuds/jarofactonbell
Summary: Hwang Minhyun isn't dating Kim Jaehwan. Kim Jaehwan is literally on a date with him.Everybody else literally ships it.If you ask Woojin or Hyeongseob on their dating life Woojin would probably deck you.Or: Ongniel being the cheerleader couple, a lot of screaming children, bless Jisung and Sungwoon for existing, Zhenting and Eunki are everyone's spirit animals. The aforementioned couples should get in otherwise Daehwi is going to shove them both in a locker and eat the key.DISCONTINUED





	1. I'm the nice guy don't attack me

**Author's Note:**

> Thus my group chats add one more. I have slipped into the Wannable life and now it's 12 am and I'm writing a chat fic.
> 
> Usernames:  
> seoulful: Woojin  
> sungshine: Jisung  
> danniboi: Daniel  
> onggoon: Ong Seungwoo  
> honey: Minhyun  
> kiwi: Daehwi  
> iguana: Guanlin  
> twinkie: Jihoon

**{Group chat: fire squad}**

**[9.08 am]**

**seoulful:** so

 **seoulful:** i might or might not have broken a thing while practicing for dance 

 **honey:** What thing are we talking about

 **seoulful:** hahahahahahahahahahahahaha abt dat

 **honey:**  Do you need help there

 **onggoon:** dont go having meltdowns yet woojin-ah 

 **seoulful:** im gud

 **kiwi:** @jihoon hyung

 **kiwi:** ily soo _soo much_

 **onggoon:** the shade

 **kiwi:** but if that bitchass song keep playing imma break all ur cds

 **kiwi:** by hand

 **kiwi:** and set the pieces on fire

 **twinkie:** can u liek chill

 **onggoon:** hes in ur room kid

 **twinkie:** MA BABIES

 **iguana:** lmao hes @ the grocery store with me

 **iguana:** how can he play music @ the dorm from here

 **iguana:** didnt know korean tech was dat advanced 

 **kiwi:** wut

 **onggoon:** stop with the shade child

 **iguana:** watch me 

 **kiwi:** tHeN whO tHe fReSh FuCks iS bLAstIng dOnT leT mE DowN

 **kiwi:** it hAS bAsS bEaTS 

 **kiwi:** mY fuCKiNg rIBs ArE TryNNa EsCapE

 **onggoon:** e to the x to the tra

 **onggoon:** lee daehwi

 **twinkie:** DONT TOUCH MY CDS

 **seoulful:** i can hear him jumping on the couch 

 **seoulful:** its creaking its way to death

 **honey:** We need the couch please stop Daehwi-yah

 **honey:** Take it out on the floor instead

 **kiwi:** shut off the music then

 **honey:** Sweetheart I want to but there is a limit to how much me not being in the dorm can do

 **honey:** It includes not being able to physically turn things off

 **twinkie:** hyung omg

 **twinkie:** dont be salty hyung u know guanlinie takes after u

 **iguana:** excuse u i was salty from the beginning

 **honey:** Remind me to ditch psych forever 

 **honey:** What the hell do all these words mean

 **iguana:** we could get u a fuck ton of ice cream?

 **honey:** No no you just buy ingredients I'll be good

 **honey:** Maybe

 **honey:** I don't know anymore

 **onggoon:** sleep early tonight

 **twinkie:** i can see guanlin deadass sneaking two tubs of peanut butter ice cream in

 **onggoon:** dongsaeng goals tbh

 **onggoon:** y'all should be dis nice to me too

 **twinkie:** no thanks

 **iguana:** don't be mean to him

 **onggoon:** so how do i adopt u guanlin

 **iguana:** fite to the death with jisung hyung sungwoon hyung minhyun hyung and woojin hyung

 **seoulful:** ill fite u for custody

 **seoulful:** cash me ousside bitch 

 **onggoon:** u know wat woojin alone is enuff

 **seoulful:** who said im ur son?

 **onggoon:** way would daniel say to dis\

 **onggoon:** think of his sad pupper face

 **seoulful:** ffs

 **seoulful:**  fine im ur son

 **iguana:** a whole snek

 **onggoon:**  

**onggoon:** ye boi

 **iguana:** hyung dis is y woojin hyung wants to sever ties with u

 **seoulful:** i want to sever ties with all of u full stop

 **twinkie:** pls jinnie-yah

 **twinkie:** we used to be a happy family

 **iguana:** wat family lmao

 **honey:** Might be Daniel playing music 

 **onggoon:** oh yeah tru

 **kiwi:** asdfghjklqwtyukjnnnvxsdghjj

 **kiwi:**  !!!!|┛*｀Д´|┛・・~~┻━┻　┳━┳

 **iguana:** u wanna disturb the boss working out

 **iguana:** be our guest hyung

 **onggoon:** stop with the shade guanlin-ah

 **iguana:** n e v e r

 **twinkie:** y r we so scared of hyung?

 **twinkie:** hes ltierally is the softest peach???

 **honey:** Daniel is a sweetheart outside of his working out sessions

 **honey:** He becomes somewhat of an aggressor 

 **iguana:** just somewhat

 **honey:** I'm the nice guy don't attack me

 **seoulful:** i openedthedoor to the gym one time by accident and he gave me dis look from under his bar bc i interrupted his reps

 **seoulful:** would not like to experience again

 **kiwi:** it's hurting me hyungs

 **kiwi:** like i will die if it replay one more fucking time 

 **seoulful:** i can ask for u

 **kiwi:** wat u broke boi

 **seoulful:** nothing bruh

 **iguana:**  rip woojin hyung

 **honey:** Look I have all day

 **honey:** I can even counsel you if needed

 **honey:** But if it's something of Jisung hyung's and it's ceramic then you're on your own

 **honey:** He will mince you

 **seoulful:** um

 **sungshine:** What is this 

 **twinkie:** hyungieeeee  (❀˙˘˙)♡(˙˘˙❀)

 **sungshine:** Hey yeobo

 **seoulful:** forgive me hyung

 **seoulful:** it's ur graduation plaque

 **sungshine:** What graduation plaque?

 **sungshine:** I don't have it with me??

 **sungshine:** It's at home???

 **onggoon:** OMO MY PLAQUE U CLMSY ASS STUPID BIRD I AM SUING U OVER PROPERTY DAMAGE

 **iguana:** that's not a reasonable claim hyung 

 **onggoon:** IM STILL SUING UR ASS

 **kiwi:** the music had stopped

 **kiwi:** thank the fucking lord

 **sungshine:** Language

 **kiwi:** soz mum

 **onggoon:** MA BABY

 **kiwi:** lmao it aint ur plaque hyung chill

 **kiwi:** its ur cd case tho

 **onggoon:** PARK WOOJIN IM LOCKING U OUT

 **seoulful:** IM SO SORRY 

 **sungshine:** So Sungwoon wants to head out next week and Jaehwan might be there 

 **sungshine:** I think that we should have a picnic, all 11 of us

 **twinkie:** agreed 

 **seoulful:** lez go bois

 **iguana:** why not

 **danniboi:** heyy

 **danniboi:**  saw the broken case

 **danniboi:** seungwoo hyung

 **danniboi:** we could go out and buy a new one if you want it replaced right away?

 **twinkie:** get u a man like daniel

 **honey:** Why do we need to know why Jaehwan is coming to go on a picnic?

 **kiwi:**  for obvious reasons 

 **honey:** And they are?

 **sungshine:** Honestly at this point I just feel bad for Jaehwan

 **sungshine:** Just pure despair

 **iguana:** cant wait till he found out

 **honey:** I don't get it?

 **twinkie:** hyung its fine go eat

 **onggoon:** Daniel I love u so MUCH 

 **danniboi:** i love you too

**[7.49 pm]**

**iguana:** i always wonder abt jihoon hyung's nickname 

 **seoulful:** bc he a twink

 **iguana:** wut

 **sungshine:** DON'T CORRUPT THE BABY

 **twinkie:** u guys never had twinkies?

 **twinkie:** they're rlly good

 **twinkie:**  

**twinkie:** im highkey rlly love them

 **kiwi:** oh my fucking god thats even worse

 **sungshine:** Do not divulge anything to either one of them

 **seoulful:** but whyyyy

 **honey:** NO YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT A TWINK IS JIHOON-AH 

 **onggoon:** so many connotations

 **kiwi:** so little opportunities to use this face

 **kiwi:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **onggoon:** nope im outta here

 **iguana:** woojin hyung tried to show me smthin from his phone

 **iguana:** and jisung hyung ran from the kitchen to the couch in like seconds

 **iguana:** he took him down so fast 

 **iguana:** i blinked and woojin hyung was crying from the floor

 **twinkie** changes their name to **winkie**

 **winkie:** i hope he stays on the floor

 **winkie:** forever

 **honey:** Oh god

 **winkie:** do not search twink up u will be scarred forever

 **onggoon:** may i interest u in some bleach?

 **winkie:** ill drink the damn carton gimme


	2. i protec my cute baby peach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pinkie: im not strong enuff to tolerate memes and ongniel being gross in the same morning
> 
> sungshine: You haven't been around in the time when they were still doing the whole
> 
> honey: Irish tap dance ostrich mating call around each other
> 
> kiwi: jinyoung hyung just came over when woojin hyung nearly knocked himself out laughing with the coffee table
> 
> kiwi: quick
> 
> kiwi: did i look cute leaving the house today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems that people don't hate it much?? I don't really know I need some comments - anything guys. Just a little reminder that people actually like this and enjoy it. And you know, that you're living human beings and stuff.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Usernames:  
> immortal: Jinyoung  
> toothless: Woojin  
> kiwi: Daehwi  
> honey: Minhyun  
> danniboi: Daniel  
> onggoon: Seungwoo  
> pinkie: Jihoon  
> iguana: Guan Lin  
> sungshine: Jisung

**{Private chat: bread face}**

**toothless:** oi

 **immortal:** i see u

 **toothless:** no u dont u fucker

 **immortal:** stop being mean i am literally across the road

 **toothless:** Y THE FUCK U ON UR PHONE FOR U WANNA DIE KID

 **immortal:** ITS CALLED SPEECH TO TEXT U OLD GEEZER

 **toothless:** I DONT TRUST UR DRIFTY CLOUD ASS

 **immortal:** THE HECK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

 

**{Group chat: fire squad}**

**honey** changes **fire squad** to **this town is razed to the ground**

 **onggoon:** can u not be emo for a sec hyung

 **honey:** I was going to address that unnecessary honorific

 **sungshine:** Don't

 **sungshine:** Keep it while they still respect you

 **winkie:** literally everyone in dis chat respect u both wat u on abt

 **sungshine:** Woojin cut across me one time in the coffee line

 **onggoon:** LMFAO 

 **sungshine:** Ong was there he saw it

 **onggoon:** LMAO HYUNG WAS LIEK EXCUSE ME GET BACK TO UR SPOT

 **onggoon:** AND WOOJIN DEADASS NEARLY BROKE HYUNGS WRIST WHILE SCREAMING GET OUTTA MY WAY YA FUCKING SWINE

 **sungshine:** That child

 **sungshine:** So problematic 

 **kiwi:** im with woojin hyung 

 **winkie:** congrats

 **iguana:** im sure hyeongseob hyung will forgive u

 **kiwi:** not liek that

 **kiwi:** ew

 **kiwi:** how low do u think my standards are

 **iguana:** sungwoon hyung short

 **onggoon:** lemme just screenshot that

 **kiwi:** im going to frame it and have it blown up a2 size

 **winkie:** guanlinie ur going to make hyung cry

 **sungshine:**  See the disrespect?

 **sungshine:**  Even the younger ones are cruel to us old geezers

 **sungshine:** Treasure the sincere honorifics while they last

 **danniboi:** hey hyungies!

 **honey:** So bright

 **onggoon:** ur so hot babe

 **kiwi:** okay stop

 **danniboi:** thanks seungwoo hyung  ~☆(*´∀｀)σ)))))*3ﾟ),･´.､

 **iguana:** i didnt leave taiwan for dis

 **kiwi:** woojin hyung refused to look at the chat

 **kiwi:** he said that he didnt leave busan to be subjected to sickening couples pawing over each other

 **honey:** Well he's one of them

 **honey:** Tell him I still have the footage of him getting that one text from Hyeongseob and crying over it because there's a cat and wink kaomoji

 **iguana:** lm f a o 

 **kiwi:** destroyed

 **onggoon:** we'll give u ice but we used up all of it for the burns yesterday

 **sungshine:** I'd like a copy of that 

 **kiwi:** but anyways

 **kiwi:** no woojin hyung and i arNT

 **kiwi:** WHO THE FRESH FCUK THOT IM ON  DATE WITH DAEHWI COME AT ME BITCH

 **kiwi:** HE JSUT CAME ALONG FOR MY GROUP PROJ

 **kiwi:** BC HES THIRSTY AF FOR TEH DESIGNER 

 **winkie:** the designer?

 **iguana:** its jinyoung hyung

 **onggoon:** damn

 **onggoon:** good taste daehwi

 **kiwi:** ikr

 **kiwi:** hes so cute

 **iguana:** and ur reason for telling us all of dis....?

 **kiwi:** oh ye

 **kiwi:** he was on the phone with woojin hyung which is

 **kiwi:** boyfriend af

 **winkie:** im too young to see this

 **sungshine:** I'm too old to see this

 **honey:** How adorably sickening

 **danniboi:** hyungs

 **danniboi:** let him have his moment

 **sungshine:** There comes a point where we have to draw the line for tolerance Niel-ah

 **kiwi:** TURNS OUT JINYOUNG HYUNG IS LIEK BFFS WITH HYEONGSEOB HYUNG

 **kiwi:** GUESS WAT WOOJIN HYUNG DEADASS DO

 **iguana:** the minit he left the dorm he already dug holes of embarrassment and camped inside them

 **kiwi:** i showed him the text and he nearly flipped the table 

 **kiwi:** he kicked it away tho the loser

 **onggoon:** thus the burns continue

 **honey:** When I graduate I want Guanlin to take over my place

 **danniboi:** please be nice everyone

 **sungshine:** How are you not corrupted yet

 **onggoon:** um excuse u 

 **sungshine:** You rank third next to Daehwi in terms of corruptibility

 **onggoon:** i protec my cute baby peach

 **onggoon:** mwy cutie daniel pooh

 **onggoon:** best pupper on the planet

**iguana:**

**kiwi:**

**pinkie:** im not strong enuff to tolerate memes and ongniel being gross in the same morning

 **sungshine:** You haven't been around in the time when they were still doing the whole

 **honey:** Irish tap dance ostrich mating call around each other

 **kiwi:** jinyoung hyung just came over when woojin hyung nearly knocked himself out laughing with the coffee table

 **kiwi:** quick

 **kiwi:** did i look cute leaving the house today

 **kiwi:**  

**iguana:** e to the x to the tra

 **onggoon:** u learn fast child

 **iguana:** bc u actually said smthing smart for once 

 **danniboi:** oh dear

 **winkie:** guanlin u need to calm down

 **danniboi:** it's all fine i am comforting him

 **honey:** You're too good for this world honestly Niel-ah

 **danniboi:** thanks hyung  <3

 **sungshine:** You're adorable Daehwi-yah

 **kiwi:** ik i just wanted to hear it

 **iguana:**  ...i have no words

 **kiwi:** okay so wat was i saying 

 **pinkie:** what did woojin hyung do whn he found out hyeongseob hyung knows jinyoung hyung

 **kiwi:** oh yeah

 **kiwi:** in the most twelvie manner ever possible 

 **kiwi:** he deadass crossed his arms

 **kiwi:** threw a leg over the table

 **kiwi:** and went

 **kiwi:** does hyeongseob like like me

 **danniboi:** but i did that too?

 **danniboi:** people cooed over me when i asked

 **honey:** The difference between you and Woojin is that when you do it it's cute 

 **honey:** When he does it

 **honey:** Well

 **sungshine:** Just have a listen to the kids

 **iguana:** brb getting my knife polshed so i can seppuku the fuck outta here

 **onggoon:**  

**winkie:**  

**kiwi:** so rn jinyoung hyung and me we're just speechless

 **onggoon:** i'd be too tbh

 **kiwi:** in other news i got jinyoung's number

 **onggoon:** damn

 **iguana:** ur fast

 **kiwi:** i didnt meant for like flirting i just leant over and asked him if he needs some tea to spill on woojin hyung

 **kiwi:** bc we kno hyeongseob hyung will destroy him when he knows

 **kiwi:** boi already got his new contact screen open and ready

 **winkie:** evil

 **winkie:** i love it

 **kiwi:** thanks babe  b(~_^)d

 **onggoon:** at last my cd case is avanged

 **danniboi:** hyung i thought you're fine over the old one

 **danniboi:** you're not happy with the new one?

 **onggoon:** NONSENESE I AM VRY HAPPY DW UR PRETTY HEAD OFF

 **iguana:** and back to the knife we go

 **winkie:** ik where the hyungs keep the bleach hmu if u want any

 **sungshine:** I'm adding Sungwoon to the chat soon 

 **sungshine:** Don't be weird

 **honey:** He saw Daniel and Woojin's chicken leg fight

 **iguana:** potentially my light bulb dance

 **sungshine:** Don't be  _too_ weird

 **winkie:** u cant ask impossible things of us hyung we're human not robots

 **sungshine:** Why do I even try

 **honey:** It's okay hyung I stopped caring like three months ago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The memes are bad quality. Just like my multifandom trashcan of a heart.


	3. i see no one is coming forward to defend their iq

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ultbabe: u cant expose me hunny all my secrets are out in the open
> 
> onggoon: hong eunki is my spirit animal
> 
> ultbabe: u r too babe
> 
> onggoon: omg babe
> 
> ultbabe: werk it gurl
> 
> onggoon : i cannot believe i found my one and only
> 
> seoulful: shut the fuck up 
> 
> seoulful: my eyes r bleeding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this before bed and I don't know how it is so long. I'm sorry.
> 
> Usernames:  
> Jisung: yoon  
> Sungwoon: cloudy   
> Eunki: king, ultbabe  
> Sungwoo: onggoon  
> Daniel: danniboi  
> Woojin: seoulful  
> Jihoon: winkie  
> Guanlin: iguana  
> Jaehwan: jae

**{Private chat: sass queen}**  
  
**yoon:** Hey Eunki  
  
**king:** wat up doll  
  
**yoon:** Do you think you can handle   
  
**yoon:** Approximately 6 screaming children while I do my exams?  
  
**king:** minhyuns gone too?  
  
**yoon:** He's out for work  
  
**king:** only if u let sungwoon in for the fun  
  
**yoon:** I don't have his contact details  
  
**king:**  i will take care of that  
  
**king:** now nail that exam  
  
**king:** u better have tjat bitch covered  
  
**yoon:** Thanks so much  
  
**king:** u do u dear  
  
  
**{Group chat: this town is razed to the ground}**  
  
**yoonjsung** adds **kweenki** to the chat  
  
**kweenki** changes their name to **ultbabe**  
  
**ultbabe:** lright children   
  
**ultbabe:** and some older fiends  
  
**ultbabe:** i am in charge  
  
**ultbabe:** no killing or too much screaming  
  
**danniboi:** hey eunki-ssi  
  
**ultbabe:** hello darling   
  
**iguana:** ur scary  
  
**onggoon:** lmao u act like ur older than all of us  
  
**ultbabe:** darling   
  
**ultbabe:** my intelligence exceeds all of ur pretty heads combined  
  
**onggoon:** i see no one is coming forward to defend their iq  
  
**winkie:** thats bc he's not wrong  
  
**iguana:** ur absolutely correct in fact  
  
**iguana:** still dk how i made it to uni  
  
**danniboi:** don't say that!  
  
**danniboi:** you're an excellent student and resilient worker  
  
**onggoon:** babe  
  
**onggoon:** he does this every other day dont pay much attention to his deprecating episodes  
  
**ultbabe:** oh my oh my where is woojinnie?  
  
**seoulful:** fuking hell y r u here  
  
**ultbabe:** hey handsome  
  
**ultbabe:** how's hyeongseob goin'  
  
**seoulful:** nowhere  
  
**seoulful:** wat abt u and zhengting  
  
**onggoon:** that's old news lmao  
  
**onggoon:** they've been together for ages  
  
**ultbabe:**  ur so slow with the news woojinnie

 **seoulful:** i can feel aneurysm coimg  
  
**ultbabe:** brb adding sungwoon to this chat  
  
**kweenki** adds **hacloudwoon** to the chat  
  
**hacloudwoon** change their name to **cloudy**  
  
**cloudy:** Hi all!  
  
**danniboi:** hyungie~~~~  
  
**cloudy:** Hey Niel-ah  
  
**cloudy:** How are we all?  
  
**cloudy:** Ready for that picnic?  
  
**iguana:** where minhyun hyung is still confused on y we're going?  
  
**cloudy:** The very same  
  
**winkie:** ur honestly an icon of not giving a fuck  
  
**cloudy:** It's a prestigious title  
  
**cloudy:** One I plan to keep

 **onggoon:** hes older r i p

 **iguana:** what a fucking shame for u

 **iguana:** rlly

 **iguana:** boo hoo

 **onggoon:** the nerve of dis child

 **cloudy:** I see why hyung has endless supply of patience now

 **cloudy:** You lot probably need four of Jisung hyung and the special forces to keep you all in line

 **winkie:** u hav such a nice face

 **winkie:** but ur actually ruthless

 **cloudy:** I'm glad you think that way about my charms Jihoon-ah

 **seoulful:** shameless

 **ultbabe:** says u mr hip thrusts on dinner table after three glasses of wine

 **onggoon:** U CANT HERA ME CRYINF BYT I AM 

 **iguana:** oh my fucking god

 **winkie:** guanlinie don't swear too much jisung hyung will have a fit wen he comes back from his exam

 **iguana:** shit better swear more

 **seoulful:** can u zip ur dumb baby infant mouth

 **iguana:** n e v e r

 **winkie:** how vulgar

 **winkie:** stop swearing even louder o m g

 **seoulful:** thats it im coming over with a bar of soap

 **ultbabe:** nevr thot i see the day wen ur being a responsible hyung

 **ultbabe:** my wild lawless son is growing up

 **ultbabe:**  

**seoulful:** listen here u bitch

 **cloudy:** No

 **seoulful:** hyung

 **cloudy:** I know what you're thinking

 **cloudy:** No

 **cloudy:** I'm not letting you fight him

 **cloudy:** You're half his size and he can flip you easily

 **cloudy:** Your flips only work on Jihoon like one time because he was surprised 

 **cloudy:** Then he turned around and roundhouse kicked you in the gut

 **cloudy:** You didn't recover for three days

 **onggoon:** LMAOGSJQOBDNAKQBBDJSKW

 **winkie:** is he ok

 **danniboi:** it is all fine

 **danniboi:** the situation is under control 

 **cloudy:** Some days I forget Daniel is younger than like four of us

 **ultbabe:** u seem so responsible and reliable

 **seoulful:** bitch i still got those twerking pics of u during first yr 

 **ultbabe:** bitch they're on my instagram and snapchat already

 **ultbabe:**  

  
 **ultbabe:** u cant expose me hunny all my secrets are out in the open

 **onggoon:** hong eunki is my spirit animal

 **ultbabe:** u r too babe

 **onggoon:** omg babe

 **ultbabe:** werk it gurl

 **onggoon** : i cannot believe i found my one and only

 **seoulful:** shut the fuck up 

 **seoulful:** my eyes r bleeding

 **ultbabe:** bitch get outta my way

 **seoulful:** ill slap ur stupid ass cheeks back to antarctica hoe

 **iguana:** i never thot woojin hyung will  ever bitch fite someone else

 **iguana:** it turns out all my predictions r false

 **iguana:** just like my faith in ur maturity

 **cloudy:** You are a bitter and brutal little child 

 **iguana:** only metaphorically 

 **iguana:** im taller than a lot of ppl in rl

 **cloudy:** Don't make me hurt you Guanlin-ah

 **winkie:** hello hello

 **winkie:** soz i left for a bit

 **winkie:** who wants sponge cake

 **onggoon:** a whole wife

 **winkie:** d( >_･ )ｸﾞｯ!

 **danniboi:** they look so fluffy

**danniboi:**

**seoulful:** we should plan an intervention soon

 **seoulful:** one day we'll wake up and daniel hyung will be putting on face masks and singing panda is going to school and there'll be no savinghim

 **winkie:** ur such a shady asshole

 **seoulful:** its who i am i cant change it jihoonie

 

 **onggoon:** y would dani pooh do such a 

 **onggoon:** yah

 **onggoon:** ur bashing me ain't it

 **winkie:** hyung u know we know and we know u know

 **iguana:** dont bother

 **cloudy:** Honestly I was going to add Jaehwannie to make things more fun

 **danniboi:** we should!

 **winkie:** probs not a gud idea hyung

 **seoulful:** no

 **iguana:** how abt we not

 **tripleong** adds **irelandsloverboi** to the chat

 **irelandsloverboi** changes their name to **jae**

 **jae:** yo peeops

 **winkie:** oh dear

 **iguana:** y would sungwoon heed our mortal woes

 **cloudy:** Don't be melodramatic child

 **danniboi:** hey jaehwannie

 **jae:** dani ma boi

 **seoulful:** can we kick him out now that we know he exist

 **cloudy:** Wait until Minhyun gets back

 **winkie:** but they fite whenever they're near each other?

 **cloudy:** Thus why I added Jaehwannie

 **seoulful:** evil

 **cloudy:** Me?

 **cloudy:** Never

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's so much roasting but I'm not sorry.


	4. i dunno if hyung's melodramatic display was worse or ur sad lamenting one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hongzhung: if i put this chat on mute would i be hated
> 
> sungshine: No one can hate you
> 
> cloudy: We would understand the impulse to
> 
> minno: By all means please proceed escape is not offered so easily
> 
> hongzhung: is this the picture of desolation: a trio?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends. I was thinking of deleting this group chat because I'm quite busy with many other projects. It's very clumsy and not received very well with the rest of the fandom and I understand. This is farewell. I'll keep it on for a couple of week or so until I finish my exams and I'll delete it. Thank you for those that gave kudos and read this. Please look out for new things I write under the Wanna One tag because I'll definitely be around there.
> 
> Names:  
> honey, minno: Minhyun  
> ultbabe: Eunki  
> cloudy: Sungwoon  
> jae: Jaehwan  
> seoulful: Woojin  
> winkie: Jihoon  
> iguana, hajima: Guan Lin  
> onggoon: Sungwoo  
> danniboi: Daniel  
> kiwi, hongwi: Daehwi  
> sungshine: Jisung  
> hongzhung: Zhengting

**{Group chat: this town is razed to the ground}**

**honey** changes their name to minno

 **minno:** There are too many names and I cannot tell who is who

 **ultbabe:** there is literally just an addition of 3 more ppl

 **ultbabe:** u did maths

 **ultbabe:** ur better than this 

 **minno:** Don't bring that up I'm still traumatised that I did maths

 **cloudy:** The showers are at the end of the hallway

 **cloudy:** You can scrub yourself clean if you wish

 **minno:** Hey Sungwoon hyung

 **ultbabe:** u know who he is then it aint hard to figure out who i am

 **jae:** eyyyyy minhyun hyungie

 **minno:** Alright that's Jaehwan

 **minno:** I can hear Eunki judging me

 **ultbabe:** im not but ur more than welcomed to imagine my face

 **minno:** No thanks I'm good

 **seoulful:** let me paint u a picture of the regression of human evolution

 **seoulful:** ong sungwoo 

 **seoulful:** 21 years of age

 **seoulful:** tried to say eyyy minhyun hyungie thru a mouth of chips 

 **seoulful:** hes fucking spitting food and whatever atrocities that were in his mouth all over the table and our clothes

 **iguana:** sungwoo hyung got bits of half chewed chips all over my hoodie

 **iguana:** it was like an unwanted shower of half eaten food 

 **winkie:** i dunno if hyung's melodramatic display was worse or ur sad lamenting one

 **minno:** Some days I really want to quit being old and just enjoy being Ong for three minutes 

 **cloudy:** I agree

 **ultbabe:** the thing is that it might be gross but its ong we forgive him

 **seoulful:** its gross and unhygienic 

 **winkie:** woojin hyung dont bully sungwoo hyung

 **seoulful:** u rlly shouldnt talk

 **seoulful:** bad taste in fashion

 **winkie:** u rlly shouldn't talk

 **winkie:** trying to look cool by leaning on a chair and falling sideways bc ur too busy staring at hyeongseob hyung to notice

 **iguana:** hyung is hasnt closed his mouth for like half a minit now

 **iguana:** im pre sure he mumbled that sausages cant roast ppl ppl roast sausages

 **ultbabe:** forgive woojinnie

 **ultbabe:** there's a few loose screws his mother forgot to address wen she shipped him to seoul

 **onggoon:** HWBAKFNJSJSMSLALQBSJLWKQNA

 **iguana:** and sungwoo hyung is snorting coke out of his nose

 **iguana:** he's screaming now

 **iguana:** it sounds like a cross between an elephant and an orangutan

 **iguana:** being hit by a spear gun 

 **cloudy:** Shouldn't you help?

 **iguana:** my hygiene standards r high

 **iguana:** im not touching him

 **danniboi:** hyungie i'm here let's go to the bathroom now

 **iguana:** also daniel hyung was nearby so i called him straight away

 **minno:** What a relief

 **minno:** I was sure Woojin must have set the block on fire or something

 **winkie:** we knew that had a high potential so i asked ongniel to babysit him

 **winkie:** guanlin just came along bc he wanted to breathe fresh air or smthing

 **winkie:** how was work

 **minno:** Oh not much happened

 **minno:** There was a fight between two guys over a girl's number 

 **minno:** Then it turns out her girlfriend was in the bathroom

 **minno:** Daehwi was on a date 

 **jae:** u need to work on what 'not much' means

 **minno:** A little bit of excitement had graced my shift Jaehwan-nim

 **jae:** ok ok 

 **jae:** i didnt know daehwi has a date today

 **winkie:** oh yeah he's sending me snapchats

 **ultbabe:** sameee fam

 **ultbabe:** hot af

 **ultbabe:** such a b a e

 **iguana:** who?

 **winkie:** i gotchu

 **cloudy:** Unbelievable 

 **ultbabe:** bae jinyoung

 **iguana:** oh ye

 **jae:** def would tap that 

 **iguana:** honestly same

 **onggoon:** im all g now

 **onggoon:** but woojin

 **onggoon** : that have to wait for a bit

 **winkie:** im not sorry

 **ultbabe:** ur a darling for saying wat we all wanted to say

 **cloudy:** You're a terrible human being and an even worse enabler

 **minno:** Really you should know that by now hyung

 **minno:** Poor Zhengting

 **ultbabe:** my darling boy and i share a very committed relationship thank u very much

 **ultbabe:** nothing will tear us apart~~~~~~~~~~~

 **winkie:** just no

 **iguana:** stop

 **minno:** _Poor guy_

 **jae:** y'all wild asf

 **onggoon:** thanks old sport

 **jae:** any time comrade

 **kiwi:** heyyyy all

 **kiwi:** guess whos back from an amazing date??

 **kiwi:** no need to answer it was me

 **kiwi:** i just wanted to brag

 **winkie:** om g

 **winkie:** ur wearing anklets

 **kiwi:** thats rite honeybun i am

 **ultbabe:** i raised my children so well

 **kiwi:** OMG EUNKI HYUNGIE

 **ultbabe:** YASSS GURL 

 **danniboi:** does anyone want leftover samosas?

 **iguana:** me

 **danniboi:** anyone in the dorm?

 **jae:** minhyun hyungie

 **iguana:** still a feat

 **jae:** go eat

 **minno:** I gotta shower

 **jae:** then go eat

 **jae:** ur fucking wrists r the size of half my thigh

 **jae:** and my thighs r like chicken's legs

 **cloudy:** No skipping food or I'll send Jisung hyung to stalk your schedule 

 **sungshine:** Already on top of that

 **winkie:** HYUNGIEEEE

 **sungshine:** Hey baby

 **iguana::** EOMMAA

 **sungshine:** Hello darling

 **cloudy:** I give you the children

 **cloudy:** Intact

 **danniboi:** what about woojinnie?

 **cloudy:** Mostly

 **iguana:** an icon

 **cloudy:** Thank you

 **sungshine:** Thank you Eunki and Sungwoon both

 **ultbabe:** no probs sugar bun

 **ultbabe:** just let me be a part of the prestigious crew from now on

 **iguana:** those 2 words dont even go together

 **winkie:** no

 **danniboi:** i'm reading these out to sungwoo hyung and woojinnie

 **danniboi:** hyung nearly crashed into another car and woojinnie tried to escape by smashing the window with his elbow

 **danniboi:** they're both screaming and crying to god

 **ultbabe:** see this is y i want to join

 **danniboi:** i like eunki-ssi

 **danniboi:** we should welcome him

 **minno:** Niel-ah

 **minno:** My sweet peach boy

 **kiwi:** O m G   y a s    pL s

 **iguana** changes their name to **hajima**

 **kiwi** changes their name to **hongwi**

 **hongwi:** my rebirth

 **hongwi:** is complete

 **ultbabe:** im actually in tears??

 **ultbabe:** uve shown more love for me than my bf does

 **hongwi:** lets elope hyung

 **ultbabe:** far far away from oppressive sth korea 

 **cloudy:** This is what happens when you let Daehwi and Eunki interact 

 **hongwi:** dont be jealous hyung

 **cloudy:** Trust me when I say jealousy is the furthest thing at the foremost of my mind right now reading this chat

 **danniboi:** we could add zhengting-ssi?

 **sungshine:** I just calmed Woojin down who started bawling about how he has no friends and they're all snakes

 **sungshine:** He refused to leave the car

 **sungshine:** Ong and I had to prise his fingers off the door

 **onggoon:** idk wat kinda image he projects outside there

 **onggoon:** but that kid is weak and lame and a crybaby

 **danniboi:** no bullying

 **onggoon:** ofc dear

 **sungshine:** Let's ask Zhengting if he wants to babysit Eunki and discuss from there

 **cloudy:** Minhyun you fail as a father

 **cloudy:** We have to recruit external support to make up for your incompetency 

 **minno:** I didn't ask for children

 **kweenki** adds **zhungzhengting** to the chat

 **zhungzhengting** changes his name to **hongzhung**

 **hongzhung:** hi?

 **hongzhung:** eunki i'm always happy to hear you speak about anything

 **hongzhung:** but so far you added me into four group chats and i have no idea which is which anymore

 **danniboi:** hey zhengting-ssi

 **hongzhung:** daniel?

 **sungshine:** How happy are you to put a leash on Eunki

 **hongzhung:** the minute i finish revising then i should be good

 **honghwi:** we should add jinyoung hyung into this chat

 **minno:** Baby

 **minno:** This chat is running on twelve people

 **minno:** It already had so much spam from when we only have 6

 **minno:** How will we handle the sheer amount of spam from twice the number of that?

 **jae:** HOLY SH IT WHRE U COME FROM 

 **jae:** YAH

 **jae:** COME BACK HRER BAE

 **hajima:** ur dating someone?

 **winkie:** im shocked and disappointed

 **onggoon:** oh well then

 **onggoon:** no angst for ong

 **jae:** no

 **jae:** guys come on

 **jae:** u all know my story

 **hongzhung:** is this the thing you were crying about yesterday's lunch

 **jae:** i didnt cri stop lying bitch

 **hongzhung:** carry on then

 **jae:** that was baejin

 **hongwi:** L  e  G a sP

hongwi: y didnt u tell me SOONER

 **jae:** jinyoung never tells me anything!

 **jae:** i didnt even know his name until his tutor screamed his name in the ass o clock rooster call time of the morn

 **ultbabe:** stay for me

 **hongzhung:** if i put this chat on mute would i be hated

 **sungshine:** No one can hate you

 **cloudy:** We would understand the impulse to

 **minno:** By all means please proceed escape is not offered so easily

 **hongzhung:** is this the picture of desolation: a trio?

 **hongwi:** YA KIM JAEHWAN

 **jae:** WAT MORE DO U WANT HO

 **hongwi:** PETS FAMILY FAV COLOUR MOVIES SLEEPING HABITS

 **winkie:** this is spiralling into stalkerish tendencies

 **hajima:** well hes clearly anything but that aint he

 **jae:** U WENT ON A FCUKING DATE

 **onggoon:** wen will the end comes

 **winkie:** wen someone is brave enuff to kill either one of them off

 **sungshine:** No murder

 **cloudy:** Where we have to bear witness to

 **sungshine:** No

 **minno:** If you think about it

 **sungshine:** No

 **ultbabe:** its adorbs

 **ultbabe:** let it flourish a lil

 **cloudy:** Then crush it?

 **hongwi:** YEH BUT HE DOESNT TELL ME SHIT

 **jae:** DO U WANNA TAKE DIS WLSEWRE

 **hongwi:** LES GO U HEADASS 

 **ultbabe:** itll crush itself

 **sungshine:** Don't scream too much Minhyunnie is going to bed

 **danniboi:** so will sungwoo hyung and i

 **hongzhung:** so many humans so much screaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's alright, it's just a passing downpour.


	5. is intentional bad spelling a disease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hongwi: yesterday
> 
> hongwi: he dropped a chopsticj
> 
> hongwi: just the stic
> 
> hongwi: and he wtache itd
> 
> hongwi: fall
> 
> hongwi: den he cri
> 
> hongwi: taers
> 
> hongwi: sad twas it
> 
> winkie: jesus fucking christ dae
> 
> seoulful: the spelling just deteriorated as he descended to hell
> 
> hongwi: where i belong in lbr
> 
> seoulful: a phat mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After many encouraging comments, I'm struggling but I'm trying to finish what I started. Please please please anyone who read if you could drop a few words to encourage me to keep going it would be amazing. I was in a slump for quite a bit with this fic because I enjoyed writing it but the lack of comments put me off and eventually discouraged me. NOW THAT I SEE PEOPLE LIKING IT AND WANTING IT TO CONTINUE THEN I WILL TRY MY BEST. I can't guarantee of the quality because I still feel rocky updating this but please the more and earlier you all comment the faster I will churn out quality memes.

**{Group chat: this town is razed to the ground}**

**{7.00 am}**

**minno:** Question

 **hajima:** its 7

 **hajima:** on a sunday

 **hajima:** humans dont get up before 7 on a sunday

 **hajima:** dats against the sacred law of nature

 **seoulful:** idk wat kinda lyfe u had back there in taipei but if my ass isnt up by 6.45 am sharp everyday i get a whooping

 **winkie:** can relate

 **ultbabe:** fuckigc mood

 **hajima:** sth korea sounds like a place drop kicked into hell

 **ultbabe:** M o O d   a s  F

 **winkie:** honeslty

 **winkie:** *honestly

 **winkie:** same

 **hajima:** Y R YALL ALL UP????

 **hongwi:** u were up bef we joined u pole

 **hajima:** thanks

 **hongwi:** it wasnt a compliment but ok

 **ultbabe:** i believe minnie hyung had a question?

 **winkie:** he went to brush his teeeth

 **winkie:** how is he functioning is beyond me

 **hajima:** a mystery

 **seoulful:** lai

 **hajima:**   no

 **winkie:** lmao

 **winkie:** fresh outta ice but we still got some nice chill if u head down to daniel hyung's room

 **seoulful:** that hyung is the least chill person in dis household rn

 **hongwi:** yesterday

 **hongwi:** he dropped a chopsticj

 **hongwi:** just the stic

 **hongwi:** and he wtache itd

 **hongwi:** fall

 **hongwi:** den he cri

 **hongwi:** taers

 **hongwi:** sad twas it

 **winkie:** jesus fucking christ dae

 **seoulful:** the spelling just deteriorated as he descended to hell

 **hongwi:** where i belong in lbr

 **seoulful:** a phat mood

 **hajima:** how long for a murder sentence in korea

 **ultbabe:** ur looking at around 20 yrs

 **ultbabe:** then death roll

 **ultbabe:** not recommended

 **ultbabe:** tri hiring a hitman

 **hajima:** expensive but ill research

 **minno:** No murder or hitman hire

 **minno:** Daehwi-yah you know Niellie has an exam and he wants to intern at that dance school so he's stressed

 **seoulful:** i went out for water last nite

 **seoulful:** and i could hear teeth grinding

 **seoulful:** from the kitcehn

 **seoulful:** his room is the furthest from the kitch and i couls till hear it

 **hajima:** is intentional bad spelling a disease

 **hajima:** is it

 **hajima:** trans-

 **hajima:** transferrable?

 **winkie:** i could hear u speaking to naver in canto

 **winkie:** lmao wats infectious in korean tell me internet

 **hongwi:** dont judge him hes trying his best

**hongwi:**

**hajima:** can u shits not

 **hongwi:** imma wait until eomma whoop yo ass

 **winkie:** i will bring the popcorn

 **seoulful:** jisung hyung looks like hes barely holding it together

 **minno:** Jisung hyung goes through so much to hold this family together

 **ultbabe:** u have no right to speak u did nothing

 **ultbabe:** cloudy hyung took care of the babies better than u

 **minno:** I never asked for a family

 **winkie:** wen uve ran away from responsibilities liek minhyun hyung u get great calves

 **hajima:** cant relate but i got calf muscles from basketball so sure

 **minno:** These chilren

 **minno:** Unbelievable

 **hajima:** is it possible to kick ppl over kkt

 **winkie:** not recommended bc it results in disappointment n misery but ur than welcome to try

 **ultbabe:** i raised u all so well

 **ultbabe:** throwing shade here n there 

 **ultbabe:** so much its an entire forest

 **seoulful:** lai

 **hajima:** wut

 **hajima:** bitch

 **seoulful:** do u wanna fucking go m8

 **hajima:** me u gubanpo station less go boi

 **seoulful:** who taught him gangster speech

 **seoulful:** it doesnt suit his baby giraffe face

 **minno:** Okay but does anyone know who sang the entire Adele discography last Friday at Donghan's?

 **ultbabe:** oh my fucking lord

 **hongwi:**  lord jesus have mercy on _my_ soul

 **winkie:**  not in front of MY salad

 **seoulful:** hyung

 **seoulful:** uk i respect u and love u

 **seoulful:** with my black shrivelled heart

 **hongwi:** lies

 **hongwi:** he gave me a lump of coal once and said 

 **hongwi:** dis

 **hongwi:** dis ma haert

 **hajima:** alrite thats it im coming over to his bed and murdering him its been good hyungs sayonara

 **minno:** While the baby is being restrained by me

 **minno:** This is text to speech by the way

 **minno:** Who was the singer?

 **ultbabe:** y u gotta kno

 **minno:** Because he sang well?

 **winkie:** hyungie is attracted to voices

 **seoulful:** can confirm

 **seoulful:** liek ur face could be ugly as fuck

 **seoulful:** but slong as ur voice gud he tap dat

 **hongwi:** aww ur adapting daehwi speech

 **hongwi:** u is gud

 **hongwi:** u is bae

 **seoulful:** lai lets share that prison sentence

 **hajima:** can u stop calling me that

 **hajima:** wat do u want

 **seoulful:** u friends with seonho

 **seoulful:** ye?

 **hajima:** if ur asking if he knows hyeongseob hyung i can confirm theyre childhood friends 

 **hongwi:** damn hyung chill

 **winkie:** its this moment in time where the baby knows jinnie so well he can guess what hes up to even without asking

 **hajima:** idw this kind of ability

 **hajima:** free me

 **minno:** Releasing one child but if you budge I'm putting you under house arrest

 **ultbabe:** finally

 **ultbabe:** exerting that dominance 

 **winkie:** no

 **seoulful:** how do i do dis

 **hajima:** its seonho he has a cave for a stomach

 **hajima:** pay for dinner and we should be alrite

 **winkie:** i thot u charge a flat rate of 50,000 won an hr

 **ultbabe:** jesus thats expensive

 **hajima:** i dont charge friends

 **winkie:** wait hold on i think woojinnie is shedding a tear

 **seoulful:** BISH U WANNA CASH ME OUSSIDE

 **ultbabe:** okie my sweetheart baby boo is back from his run ill see u babies later

 **winkie:** bye hyungie

 **hongwi:** MWAH 

**hajima:** stop him

 **minno:** I can't only Jisung hyung can

 **hajima:** wat good r u then

 **seoulful:** oh shiet i think u broke him lai

 **hajima:** THATS IT COME HERE ILL CRACK UR HEAD OPEN

 

**{9.56 am}**

**onggoon:** wut

 **onggoon:** i missed out all the fun

 **danniboi:** am i that stressed???????

 **onggoon:** baby

 **onggoon:** _jagi_

 **onggoon:** my sunshine my dude my main boi

 **jae:** i thought i was ur main boi

 **onggoon:** ur my main hoe lad

 **jae:** cheers

 **sungshine:** What is order when I don't constantly supervise you all

 **cloudy:** I'm coming over with cookies?

 **cloudy:** I baked them this morning

 **sungshine:** Bless you dear

 **hongwi:** COOKIES

 **hongwi:** _YIPPIEEEEE_

 **jae:** cannot believe linnie charges a flat rate of 50k per hour

 **hajima:** for u

 **hajima:** 150k every 30 mins

 **winkie:** l m A O

 **sungshine:** Breakfast is on the counter devour the food as you descend from your rooms

 **cloudy:** I'll even let you hug me for a brief period of time

 **sungshine:** I appreciate your efforts, Woonie

 **cloudy:** All good

 **jae:** lmao minhyunnie hyungie dat was me with the adele discography i know all her songs i always sing adele when im drunk

 **minno:** You??

 **minno:** But

 **minno:** I thought you can't sing???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: When your crush didn't know you can sing until you started drunkenly singing all of Adele's songs


	6. my brother doesnt have enuff brain cells to insult me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit posts: went with woojin hyung to introductory psych when he thot doing so will give him mind reading abilities
> 
> shit posts: i got off tumblr and was all im ready for this lfie to be over
> 
> shit posts: and he looked me ded in the eye and said
> 
> shit posts: greg im not trained for clinical depression get help somewhere else
> 
> heol daebak: BAYHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
> 
> manly man: tag urself im greg
> 
> tired and dead: LMFAO
> 
> roomba's enthusiast: Why Greg though
> 
> with a chance of meatball: Asking the real question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I've neglected this ToT so many things happen and there weren't a lot of funny things I could come up with. But I am back, thank you for those who read from the start, I will try my best to complete this soon!
> 
> Names:  
> Jisung: sungshine, crib leader  
> Eunki: ULTIMATE BADDEST BITCH, ultbabe, The Only Bae  
> Jinyoung: bread son  
> Jaehwan: adele's bitch, jae, always hungery  
> Daehwi: dave, greg, shit posts  
> Guan Lin: tired and dead, murder baby  
> Minhyun: roomba's enthusiast  
> Sungwoon: with a chance of meatball, cloudy  
> Seongwoo: heol daebak  
> Jihoon: manly man, cabbage leaf  
> Woojin: about to exorcise some demons, clinical depression

**{Group chat: the babes}**

**adele's bitch:** can we change the name

 **bread son:** i beg of u please do that

 **ULTIMATE BADDEST BITCH:** no

 **ULTIMATE BADDEST BITCH:** anyways here to drop sum tea

 **bread son:** if this is about jae hyung's pointless crush digging itself further into a hole i already heard it

 **ULTIMATE BADDEST BITCH:** Oh my my

 **adele's bitch:** dont do that ho

 **ULTIMATE BADDEST BITCH:** try me ho

 **bread son:** im obliged to stage an intervention

**bread son:**

**adele's bitch:** y u gotta bring out elmo

 **bread son:** have we stopped

 **ULTIMATE BADDEST BITCH:** so how'd you know the news

 **bread son:** heard it from daehwi

 **ULTIMATE BADDEST BITCH:** whens the wedding

 **bread son:** after i get a car

 **adele's bitch:** how is this runt getting in so much and im 

 **adele's bitch:** alone

 **adele's bitch:** ????

 **ULTIMATE BADDEST BITCH:** i mean have u looked at ur reflection in the mirror

 **bread son:** hyung dont do dat hes super fragile abt his appearance

 **ULTIMATE BADDEST BITCH:** because he uglie?

 **adele's bitch:** dO U waNnA  fUkCiGn gO m8888???

 **bread son:** he looks at himself in the mirror a lot

 **bread son:** but one time he started doing all of mulan's musical numbers and the other time he started stripping for no reason

 **ULTIMATE BADDEST BITCH:** get some jesus

 **ULTIMATE BADDEST BITCH** : i know some churches nearby that can cleanse u of ur sins

 **ULTIMATE BADDEST BITCH:** we must all return to being children of god

 **adele's bitch:** tell him to give up on me i signed my soul to the devil

 **bread son:** tbfh 

 **bread son:** phat mood

 **bread son:** so now that u know minhyun likes voices more than faces maybe you'll have a chance

 **adele's bitch** : im going to burn all of ur textbooks

 **bread son:** ill take all ur money no worries

 **ULTIMATE BADDEST BITCH:** meanwhile im taking a shower dont kill each other ill be back

 

**{Group chat: this town is razed to the ground}**

**hongwi** changes their name to **shit posts**

 **hajima** changes their name to **tired and dead**

 **winkie** changes their name to **manly man**

 **minno:** Why the change in username

 **manly man:** was that a question

 **onggoon** changes **minno's** nickname to **roomba's enthusiast**

 **onggoon** changes their name to **heol daebak**

 **heol daebak** : hyung the time of mono nicknames is falling far behind

 **cloudy** : I find it concerning that the nicknames now suit each of you well

 **roomba's enthusiast:** Still waiting for Jisung hyung to burst a vein at Dae's

 **manly man:** shush dont remind him

 **shit posts:** i hadd a relevaiton 

 **seoulful** changes their name to **about to exorcise some demons**

 **about to exorcise some demons:** can i

 **tired and dead:** go ahead

 **roomba's enthusiast:** Hear him out first

 **manly man:** he texted me recently and the bad spelling fit went away

 **tired and dead:** like the flu

 **cloudy** changes their name to **with a chance of meatball**

 **with a chance of meatball:** Let the baby speak

 **tired and dead:** am i a fetus

 **with a chance of meatball:** If you insist

 **heol daebak:** hyung's handing out those shots like rihanna's dissing her haters

 **manly man:** pls dont

 **shit posts:** before jisung hyung gets here

 **shit posts:** ever done something and ur liek

 **shit posts:** damn dis is some tumblr shit post discourse

 **heol daebak:** my sister once screamed at a badly painted patch of wall in her room

 **heol daebak:** and i quote

**shit posts:**

**heol daebak:** ITS SO UGLY NO MATTER HOW MANY BEAUTIFUL KOREAN MEN I PUT ON IT THE UGLINESS WONT GO AWAY

 **with a chance of meatball:** Okay and?

 **heol daebak:** me being me said

 **heol daebak:** im a beautiful korean man why wont u put photos of me on ur wall

 **manly man:** did u get punched 

 **tired and dead:** w h y

 **heol daebak:** no

 **heol daebak:** but she told me to fuck off the wall is ugly as it is itll collapse with the ugliness square of ur face and the shoddy paint job

 **shit posts:** asdfghjkliuytresxcvbnmloiuytresxcvbnm

 **tired and dead:** BAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

 **with a chance of meatball:** I laughed so hard I don't think I took a breath in between laughing

 **manly man:** woojin died

 **about to exorcise some demons:** iM oKaY

 **manly man:** god damn it

 **roomba's enthusiast:** Do you need a moment to settle down

 **tired and dead:** y do u gradually sound like u just dont have emotions in ur questions anymore

 **manly man:** dont think he has any emotions in him

 **manly man:** period

 **heol daebak:** well ur not wrong there

 **about to exorcise some demons** : at least ur sister didnt tell u that ur existence itself is a burn on the family tree

 **manly man:** explain

 **about to exorcise some demons:** im so ugly i burn off a branch down my end bc no one want to breed with me

 **shit posts:**  can't relate

 **shit posts:** my brother doesnt have enuff brain cells to insult me

 **heol daebak:** shots fired

 **with a chance of meatball:** We all need new sisters

 **about to exorcise some demons:** i need a new life tbh

 **heol daebak:** mood

 **roomba's enthusiast:** I don't think these sibling discourse counts as Tumblr discourse

 **manly man:** the burn is too storng

 **heol daebak:** tru dat

 **tired and dead:** did i tell u guys at the start of uni i didnt have enuff sleep my sister panicked too much n wrote to my nan and their solution was to send me distressed oranges

 **about to exorcise some demons:** i

 **manly man:** what

 **heol daebak:** i 

 **heol daebak:** i dont

 **heol daebak:** wat is speech idk her

 **roomba's enthusiast:** _What are those?_

 **tired and dead:** they're shipped in boxes and written in calligraphy brushes

 **tired and dead:** we're worried please don't die but in chinese

 **shit posts:** truly amazing

 **shit posts:** fantabulistic 

 **about to exorcise some demons:**  u lost me at orange

 **manly man:** u lost me befoe u even started

 **heol daebak:** i need photographic proof

 **tired and dead:** well sorry unbeliever i dont have any

 **manly man:** seonho just showed me

 **manly man:** holy shit they real

 **roomba's enthusiast:** I thought you made it up for laughs

 **tired and dead:** now y would i do that

 **roomba's enthusiast:** You're right

 **heol daebak:** dan and i went shopping once and we had to buy herbs

 **heol daebak:** problem was we didnt know what they look like

 **heol daebak:** but we know what they smell like

 **about to exorcise some demons:** f f s

 **with a chance of meatball:** Oh no

 **manly man:** oh yes

 **heol daebak:** we went around sniffin them entire nursery in the market to find two bunches of herbs

 **heol daebak:** there were photos

 **heol daebak:** memes too

 **tired and dead:** where do i cut the ties

 **roomba's enthusiast:** Jisung hyung's heart

 **with a chance of meatball:** Me too kid me too

 **shit posts** : went with woojin hyung to introductory psych when he thot doing so will give him mind reading abilities

 **shit posts:** i got off tumblr and was all im ready for this lfie to be over

 **shit posts:** and he looked me ded in the eye and said

 **shit posts:** greg im not trained for clinical depression get help somewhere else

 **heol daebak:** BAYHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

 **manly man:** tag urself im greg

 **tired and dead:** LMFAO

 **roomba's enthusiast:** Why Greg though

 **with a chance of meatball:** Asking the real question

 **about to exorcise some demons:** cut me some slack i had no sleep the other night

 **tired and dead:** Ha

 **tired and dead:** Ha

 **tired and dead:** Ha

 **roomba's enthusiast:** He sounds like he's dying

 **heol daebak:** not checking up on him

 **with a chance of meatball:** Very responsible, Seongwoo, very responsible

 **heol daebak:** i never claim to be

 **with a chance of meatball:** Touche 

 **manly man:** he's just laughing 

 **manly man:** rlly badly

 **manly man:** at his screen

 **manly man:** but imagine dat cousin u hate bragged abt smthing he did liek hes gud shit but uve done it at the age of 5 and ur trying to assert ur superiority but also ur incredibility  at how stupid and incompetent they r

 **manly man:** thats the sound u make

 **shit posts:** pls frame that and parcel post it

 **shit posts:** im going to send it to all the cousins i hate

 **heol daebak:** ur mum is an only child

 **shit posts:** all korean americans r my cousins ok

 **shit posts:** come at me

 **tired and dead:** no one wants to fite u

 **tired and dead:** first of all three hyungs would fight in ur honour

 **shit posts** : binch i know

 **tired and dead:** can i kill him tho

 **heol daebak** : i know how to make it look liek an accident

 **roomba's enthusiast:** Children, no

 **with a chance of meatball:** Will I see CSI reenacted before my own eyes?

 **about to exorcise some demons:** wow hyung so responsible

 **with a chance of meatball:** I never claim to be

 **heol daebak:** YEeeT HYUNg FOLLOWIN the tTRENDS

 **manly man:** would u like help @roomba's enthusiast

 **roomba's enthusiast:** Do your worst

 **manly man:** YOON AUNTIE IS BACK IN THE CRIB

 **heol daebak:** OH SHIET WADDUP

 **shit posts** : WRONG MEME

 **heol daebak:** shut the F up u fetus

 **tired and dead** : no murder

 **tired and dead** : for today

 **manly man** changes **tired and dead's** nickname to **murder baby**

 **murder baby** : itll be u next cabbage leaf

 **with a chance of meatball:** I endorse that nickname

 **heol daebak:** CABBAGE LIEF YE BOI

 **about to exorcise some demons** changes **manly man's** nickname to **cabbage leaf**

 **cabbage leaf** changes **about to exorcise some demons'** nickname to **clinical depression**

 **shit posts** changes their name to **dave**

 **dave:** close save

 **murder baby** changes **dave's** name to **greg**

 **greg:** even better

 **with a chance of meatball:** Heading off now, see you all later

 **heol daebak:** love u hyungie 

 **heol daebak:** ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙

 **sungshine:** Hello

 **cabbage leaf** changes **sungshine's** name to **crib leader**

 **crib leader:** Thank you

 **crib leader:** Daehwi don't think I didn't see you swearing because I did

 **greg:** how did he get so good at technology????

 **cabbage leaf** : is this the same man who was asking me how to lock his own phone?

 **cabbage leaf:** which he had for two years

 **crib leader** : Do not judge

 **roomba's enthusiast** : You're asking as if one of us have an answer

 **cabbage leaf:** dont think liek that

 **cabbage leaf:** i dont have that much faith in u

 **heol daebak:** DAMN PINK BOI U FIRING DEM SHOTS LEFT RIGHT AND CENTRE 

 **murder baby** : if we all need to kill someone i volunteer a checklist

 **crib leader** : Please leave my phone alone it's buzzing its way to demonic possession 

 **crib leader:** I just want to shower and sleep

 **heol daebak:** a whole mood

 **cabbage leaf** : im just bitter bc of my grades

 **murder baby** : we all nerds and we understand

 **cabbage leaf:** bitch u turn up to class and get straight a's stfu

 **crib leader:** Still swearing

 **roomba's enthusiast:** Hoping Eunki doesn't waltz in right at this moment

 **jae** : ah too late for that hes scrolling thru the banter

 **cabbage leaf:** hey hyung

 **jae:** sup

 **jae:** been scrolling up to read ur banter, which, trash quality, btw, and smething abt a picnic?

 **heol daebak** : ye dat

 **heol daebak:** u coming?

 **jae:** boi where there's food there's me

 **jae:** hmu

 **murder baby** changes **jae's** name to **always hungery**

 **always hungery** : a phat mood my padawan

 **murder baby:** im not even offended i love star wars

 **ultbabe:** HELLO CHILDREN AND ELDERS

 **ultbabe** changes their name to **The Only Bae**

 **The Only Bae:** we shall feast bc i just got paid a shit load of cash so whens the picnic let me order catering

 **roomba's enthusiast** : When Jisung hyung gets out we'll talk

 **roomba's enthusiast** : I'll bring my guitar

 **always hungery:** my time to shine

 **The Only Bae** : hun u did that last time and boi u woulnt stop singing until baejin shove a bagel up ur ear

 **heol daebak** : how was that even achievable

 **The Only Bae** : baejin gets murderous when skyfall is repeated 10 times

 **greg:** the man of my dream

 **clinical depression:** shut up ur liek 12 

 **greg:** imma marry him

 **murder baby** : shall i add baejin to the murder list too

 **roomba's enthusiast** : I'm going to give that a tentative yes

 **The Only Bae** : spare my child y'all 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Support me at - http://ko-fi.com/jarofactonbell


	7. Farewell

Sorry for doing this but

 

I'm discontinuing this fic. I can't any more ideas and I have a lot of projects on the side. I'll be recycling materials to my other chat fics but the possibility of this fic continuing is very low. Thank you for all those kind words you guys gave me (and I won't delete this, just not going to continue with it). I hope that you can all read my multi-chaptered fic In defence of perfect faces and random sing along instead because that is a long term project I am conducting.

 

It's been a great journey and I'll see you all again in another fic!

**Author's Note:**

> We need more Jaehyun. And Jinseob.


End file.
